Dear Off the Wagon,

I'm worried I may be fired soon. I am falling asleep at every meeting we have at work. The problem is that our meetings are far far to mundane. I don't need to hear the information to effectively get my work done, yet my boss requires me to be there. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Sleepyhead
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Dear Sleepyhead,

Fortunately, due to a recent addition in our shop, we have the perfect solution for you. Our Anime Eyes glasses have a wide open eye printed on the front. Your boss will believe you are the most attentive listener whenever you have these on. And, on the rare occasion when you do wake up, you can still see perfectly fine through them. (We don't recommend the blue hair pictured here.)

Sincerely,

Off the Wagon