{"title":"Greeting Cards \u0026 Stationery","description":"We source many top-quality cards and stationery including letterpress cards and cards from boutique makers.  This is a selection of some of the best sellers in our sister retail shop, Red Letter Days which is connected to our Off the Wagon Shop in Kent Ohio.","products":[{"product_id":"i-picked-this-for-you-myself","title":"I picked this for you myself Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eAh yes, the perfect birthday card for someone who appreciates \u003cem\u003esophisticated\u003c\/em\u003e humor (or just has a really strong stomach). The front features a charming little kid digging for treasure with the caption, “I picked this for you myself.” But don’t worry—it’s not \u003cem\u003ethat\u003c\/em\u003e kind of gift. The inside reassures them: “The card, I mean. Happy Birthday.” It’s gross, it’s hilarious, and it’s guaranteed to get at least one snort-laugh. Ideal for friends, family, or anyone who still finds boogers funny (so, basically everyone).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIncludes envelope. Made in the USA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Seltzer","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":29119561217,"sku":"210000045315","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0072\/1432\/files\/seltzer-st-greeting-cards-i-picked-this-for-you-myself-birthday-card-funny-gag-gifts-37391147565217.png?v=1690160478"},{"product_id":"gift-card","title":"Gift Card for Off The Wagon","description":"\u003cp\u003eShopping for someone else but not sure what to give them? Give them the gift of choice with a Off the Wagon Shop gift card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGift cards are delivered by email and contain instructions to redeem them at checkout. Our gift cards have no additional processing fees.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePHYSICAL CARD - Option available to ship a Physical card to your ship to address\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDIGITAL CARD - Is automatically sent to your email provided.  (Even if you also request a physical card)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Off the Wagon Shop","offers":[{"title":"$10.00","offer_id":32771900545,"sku":null,"price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$25.00","offer_id":32771900609,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$50.00","offer_id":32771900673,"sku":null,"price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0072\/1432\/files\/off-the-wagon-shop-gift-cards-gift-card-for-off-the-wagon-funny-gag-gifts-1224315219.jpg?v=1772152027"},{"product_id":"youre-old-but-cool-old","title":"You're Old But Cool Old","description":"\u003cp\u003eGetting old? Yeah. Still cool? \u003cem\u003eAbsolutely.\u003c\/em\u003e This card is the perfect way to remind someone that while their knees might creak and their back might protest, they’ve still got legendary status in the cool department.  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWith just the right mix of roasting and reassurance, this card lets them know that aging is inevitable—but being awesome? \u003cem\u003eThat’s\u003c\/em\u003e forever. Perfect for birthdays, over-the-hill celebrations, or just reminding someone that they’re basically a fine wine… with slightly more complaints about technology. 🍷🎉😎\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA beautiful Letterpress card made in Providence RI. A2 size made with 100% recycled paper + kraft paper envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlank inside. \u003cspan\u003eMade in the USA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Frog and Toad","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":16212764753971,"sku":"210000059435","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0072\/1432\/products\/frog-and-toad-stationary-st-greeting-cards-you-re-old-but-cool-old-funny-gag-gifts-17297504960673.jpg?v=1628436535"},{"product_id":"youre-the-best-mom","title":"You're the Best Mom","description":"\u003cp\u003eLet’s be honest—out of all the moms you’ve ever had, this one’s definitely the best. This card delivers\u003cem\u003e just\u003c\/em\u003e the right amount of sarcasm and sincerity, making it perfect for Mother’s Day, birthdays, or just reminding her that she still holds the #1 spot (despite your questionable life choices).  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether she laughs, rolls her eyes, or demands to know if there’s another mom she should be worried about, one thing’s for sure—she’ll love it. Because, well… she’s the best. 💖😆\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlank inside comes with envelope.  4.25 x 5.5 inches. 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Yes, yes, and absolutely yes.  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause nothing says \"You're killing it\" quite like a rocket-powered armadillo blasting into greatness. 🚀\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLetterpress card made in the USA. Blank inside: comes with an envelope. 4.25 x 5.5 inches\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Frog and Toad","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":16548966957107,"sku":"210000060058","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0072\/1432\/products\/frog-and-toad-stationary-st-greeting-cards-f-ck-yeah-armadillo-card-funny-gag-gifts-17289567731873.jpg?v=1628247183"},{"product_id":"mom-youre-my-star-baker-card","title":"Mom, You're my Star Baker Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the mom who whips up love as effortlessly as she does cookies, this card is the perfect way to tell her she’s your Star Baker—no competition necessary. Whether she’s a pro in the kitchen or just really good at ordering takeout, she’s always served up top-tier mom magic (and hopefully some snacks along the way).  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for Mother’s Day, birthdays, or just because you’re craving brownies and need to butter her up. Hand it over with a hug—no soggy bottoms in sight. 🍰🌟💕\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMessage \"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!\" | Comes with an envelope | \u003cspan\u003eA2 size | 5.5\" x 4.25\" folded\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Found","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33135205449864,"sku":"210000066687","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0072\/1432\/products\/the-found-stationary-st-greeting-cards-mom-you-re-my-star-baker-card-funny-gag-gifts-17280816677025.jpg?v=1707328286"},{"product_id":"lower-expectations-gift-bag","title":"Lower Expectations 8\"x10\" Gift Bag","description":"\u003cp\u003eFinally, a gift bag that tells the truth. This “Now Is a Good Time to Lower Your Expectations” bag is perfect for wrapping presents that may or may not be amazing, thoughtful, or even fully functional. Consider it your built-in disclaimer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you’re gifting socks, a chaotic last-minute find, or something genuinely cool (but you enjoy emotional misdirection), this bag delivers the perfect blend of honesty and sass. It basically says, “Listen, I tried… kind of.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGreat for Secret Santa, white elephant parties, or anyone in your life who appreciates brutal holiday realism. Stuff it, present it, and watch them laugh before they even see what’s inside.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e11″ x 8″ x 4″\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"MilkToast Brands","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":35126066708641,"sku":"210000067859","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0072\/1432\/files\/milktoast-brands-gift-flat-wrap-lower-expectations-8-x10-gift-bag-funny-gag-gifts-1125332730.webp?v=1738735830"},{"product_id":"holy-crap-youre-old-birthday-card","title":"Holy Crap You're Old Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\"Holy Crap, you're old! But hey, at least you're still alive!!! Happy Birthday!\" Look on the bright side of like (kind of) with this funny birthday card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlank inside; includes an envelope\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e5.5 x 4.25 inches\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade in the USA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensive Delightful","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":36311795597473,"sku":"210000069169","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0072\/1432\/products\/offensive-delightful-greeting-cards-holy-crap-you-re-old-birthday-card-funny-gag-gifts-21089134968993.png?v=1628357328"},{"product_id":"listen-up-bitches-better-card","title":"Listen Up Bitches, better card","description":"\u003cp\u003eAging? Pfft. We prefer to call it leveling up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis card is the ultimate hype message for your fabulous, unstoppable, still-got-it crew. Whether it’s a birthday, reunion, or just an excuse to remind your friends that wrinkles are just laughter trophies, this card sets the record straight: We’re not getting older—we’re getting BETTER.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo grab the wine, embrace the wisdom, and let’s celebrate the fact that we’re flawless at any age (with slightly creakier knees). 🎉💃🔥\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlank inside; includes an envelope. 5.5 x 4.25 inches. \u003cspan\u003eMade in the USA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensive Delightful","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":36311820501153,"sku":"210000069170","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0072\/1432\/products\/offensive-delightful-greeting-cards-listen-up-bitches-better-card-funny-gag-gifts-19216676552865.png?v=1611395727"},{"product_id":"your-are-strong-fearless-badass-card","title":"You are Strong Fearless \u0026 Badass Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome moments call for over-the-top, shout-it-from-the-rooftops levels of pride—and this card delivers. Perfect for celebrating big wins, tough battles, and all-around badassery, this card is basically a mic drop in paper form.  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether they’ve crushed a challenge, powered through a rough time, or just exist as their incredible self every day, this card tells them exactly what they need to hear: You are strong. You are fearless. You are badass. And I am so. freaking. proud. 💪🔥🎉\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlank inside; includes an envelope. 5.5 x 4.25 inches. \u003cspan\u003eMade in the USA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensive Delightful","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":36311820566689,"sku":"210000069174","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0072\/1432\/products\/offensive-delightful-greeting-cards-your-are-strong-fearless-badass-card-funny-gag-gifts-19217100996769.png?v=1611395849"},{"product_id":"magical-unicorn-card","title":"You are a Magical Unicorn... and everyone else can go F-ck themselves! Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSometimes, the truth just needs to be spelled out. This \"You Are a Magical Unicorn. 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Totally under control Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\"Life. Totally under control.\" Just kidding, I have no idea what I'm doing. Ha ha, I'm funny, aren't I? Ha ha. Help.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlank inside; includes an envelope.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e5.5 x 4.25 inches.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMade in the USA\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Seltzer","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":37618377654433,"sku":"2100000806157","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0072\/1432\/products\/seltzer-greeting-cards-life-totally-under-control-card-funny-gag-gifts-21149507387553.png?v=1628204884"},{"product_id":"mom-sorry-ive-been-such-a-little-sh-t-card","title":"Mom sorry I've been such a little sh*t card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA heartfelt apology… with just the right amount of sass. Let’s face it—being your fabulous self hasn’t always been easy on Mom. 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