{"product_id":"a-candle-for-a-fucking-quitter-retirement-candle","title":"A Candle for A Fucking Quitter - Retirement Candle","description":"\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eSmells like, \"Wow... you suck.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eCongratulations! You worked for decades, earned your retirement, and now you're rubbing it in the faces of everyone who still has to set an alarm on Monday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003eThis hilariously inappropriate retirement candle is scented like Piña Coladas with tropical notes of coconut, lime, and pineapple—because apparently lounging around with fruity drinks is your full-time job now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHilarious retirement gift candle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePiña Colada scented\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFragrance notes: Coconut, Lime \u0026amp; Pineapple\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHand-poured in the USA\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade with 100% soy wax\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e6.5 oz candle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eApproximate 40-hour burn time\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWarning: Side effects may include spontaneous vacation planning, weekday naps, and reminding everyone, \"Every day's Saturday now.\"\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46771304399009,"sku":"210000117895","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0072\/1432\/files\/whiskey-river-soap-co-unclassified-a-candle-for-a-fucking-quitter-retirement-candle-funny-gag-gifts-1252520780.webp?v=1785702155","url":"https:\/\/www.offthewagonshop.com\/products\/a-candle-for-a-fucking-quitter-retirement-candle","provider":"Off the Wagon Shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}