Here at Off The Wagon, we know our strengths. If you came to us asking about penguin conservation efforts, or what color of sunglasses would best complement your skin tone, we might suggest you ask someone else. Or just google it. But if you ask us about FEET FASHION, that’s a different story! Or well, at least for sock advice specifically. Technically you can put other things on your feet (like shoes), but obviously, none of that garbage is nearly as important as sock choice. And clearly (in our near-expert opinion) the best and most fashionable option for sock choice is always going to be something fun and wacky. Preferably with some witty or silly saying written on them. At this point, you’re probably dying for some examples, not to mention getting some new socks of your own. Well don’t worry, this list of some of our favorite socks will kill both those stones with one bird. Or however, that saying is supposed to go. Check it out:
Perfect for old folks (obviously) but also for anyone with particularly stinky feet. Because then people will know without getting into stink range that your feet smell like old farts!
Don’t push me. Why? Because I asked you nicely. If that's not a good enough reason I can come up with something properly threatening and tough I’ll do if you cross me. It’ll take some brainstorming though, so check back in like 30 min. Sound good?
It’s a combo package hun. You take it all or you take none. Kinda like Taco Bell and the runs. Did I just compare myself to Taco Bell? I promise I’m at least like a Subway. Maybe even Chipotle.
Sometimes in life, you have to make hard decisions. Other times the superior choice is clear. Like choosing between pickles and war. Especially if you’re hungry and already have a nice sandwich made that would go just wonderfully with a pickle spear on the side.
They’ll know you’re serious about your fart love when you whip out these socks. They don’t even say love, they just have a heart where the word would go. Deep, right?
Speaking of loving things that come out of your butt, a good poop can be really refreshing. These socks are particularly well suited for folks who really prefer pooping while just wearing socks. In fact, they might be the perfect pair for that exact scenario.
Like the kind of mean people that will eat part of your lunch, but not even the whole thing so you feel justified going and getting something at the diner across the street, but enough that you’re not really satisfied and get just a little bit hangry the rest of the afternoon, and then they do it again even after you specifically asked them not to. Just for example.