9 Funny Valentine’s Day Cards to Get Them Giggling!

Valentine’s Day is a holiday all about love and romance, but that doesn’t mean it has to be super serious and sappy. If you’d rather have a Valentine’s Day that’s full of giggles and laughter instead of lengthy poems and bouquets of roses (or maybe some of both), you’ve come to the right place! Here at Off The Wagon, we connoisseurs of wacky and funny stuff (we know, big surprise), so when it comes to Valentine’s Day cards, we like ones that are going to make your special someone smile and laugh! After all, what better gift is there than laughter? (Ok, a lifetime supply of chocolate or even a big mansion might be better, but laughter is much more affordable). If you’re looking for a silly card for your Valentine, look no further! We’ve picked out 9 of our favorite cards for you to choose from! Check them out and see which one you like the most!

Love Of My Life, Pain In My Ass


Yes, you love them, and yes, they love you. That’s all awesome and great, but somehow it doesn’t stop them from leaving their dirty laundry on the floor AGAIN after you JUST ASKED THEM to put it in the basket! Ugh.

Light Up My Life Like Hot Sauce…

If you’re not sure whether to take this as a really weird compliment or a really weird insult, join the club. Maybe you can make it a little more clear with the note you leave inside. Or leave them wondering, it’s up to you!

Happy Valentine’s Day Buttface

You’re a buttface, and you’ll always be a buttface, but at least you’re MY buttface, you buttface. And besides! I like butts and faces, so it’s not really even a bad thing!

Heart Decoder Card

Write your valentine a secret message! They’ll only be able to read it with the included glasses, so don’t accidentally drop them down the crack between the elevator and the floor like we did.

Sending You Mush Love

A lovely mushroom pun for your favorite fungi (or gal)!

I Love Naps, Bacon, and You Scratch-Off Card

Preferably, I’d have all three. At the same time. Or at least one after another. It is pretty hard to eat bacon when you’re sleeping. I guess you could do it if you’re sleep walking but that feels kinda hard to control.

I Am Soooooooo Fucking In Love With You

I love you more than I love using extra Os at the end of a word. And as you can tell, that’s quite a bit.

You Are A Magical Unicorn!

You are a magical unicorn! That is unless you’d rather be a magical panda bear, in which case bam! You are! Or a superpowered sloth? Bam! Done. And don’t let anyone tell you differently!

Love, My Second Favorite Four Letter Word

Can you guess what my favorite four letter word is? No, it’s not farts. Poop is a good guess but no. Snail? First of all that is 5 letters, second of all - snail? Really? Why in the world would you think my favorite word is snail? Listen, just open the card. You’ll get it. Inside reads: I f*cking love you.

Want some Valentine’s gifts to go with one of these amazing cards? Check out our entire Valentine’s Day collection! Or if you want more general gifts, gags, games, and more, check out our entire catalog!

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