9 Wonderfully Weird and Funny Valentine’s Day Gifts for 2023

Love is a pretty big word. Some of us love pancakes. Some of us love cats. Some of us love a very specific human being a whole lot. We love all sorts of different people and things, and we show that love is just as many different ways! Some people show love with really expensive and fancy gifts, diamond rings, and fancy hats. Some people show love by cooking an exceedingly delicious meal. Here at Off the Wagon, we LOVE weird stuff and we show our love by giving quirky, weird little gifts to others. What’s better than creating very silly memories together while you laugh over a Valentine’s Day card that compares your undying love for one another to spicy hot sauce poops? If you’re nodding your head or chuckling in agreement, you’re probably in the right place. This Valentine’s Day, we’ve picked out 9 of our favorite gifts. Pick one out and give it to someone you love! We’re pretty sure you’ll get a smile or a laugh in return.

Jellycat Love-Me Lobster

This is no ordinary lobster. It’s a love lobster, or a LOVEBSTER as we like to call it. Who needs claws when you can have little plush hearts for hands?

Bigfoot Valentine’s Day Card

Sometimes love can seem as rare as Bigfoot. But they both exist, we promise! We were just hanging out with Bigfoot yesterday, and he was telling us all about his budding relationship.

Pugs and Kisses Magnet

Pugs and kisses are not mutually exclusive with hugs and kisses. In fact, pug hugs are highly encouraged.

Jelly Belly 10 Flavor Valentine's Gift Box

A box filled with 10 different flavors of delicious jelly beans, perfect for anyone with a sweet tooth. Want it gift-wrapped? We can do that for you!

“Light up my life like Hot Sauce Lights up my Asshole” Valentine’s Card

Spicy, unforgettable, a little painful, and totally worth it. True love!

Jellycat Plush Heart With Legs

An absolutely adorable little plush heart. A little on the nose for valentine’s day? Yeah, but who cares! Look at its little smile! And those little legs!

Wax Lips Candy

Big, succulent, delicious red lips. Perfect for smooching practice, taking some goofy pictures, or just chewing (they’re gummy).

Heart of Gold Patch

Give this patch to someone with a heart of gold. Hopefully a metaphorical one. Well, I guess it's fine if they have a literal heart made of gold as long as they also have another heart made of normal heart stuff.

I Fucking Love You Candle

“Smells like, I mean, probably. You know how temperamental I can be.” It can be hard to say I love you, but at least you can make the room smell nice without too much effort.

Not quite satisfied with this selection? Well no worries, we have a whole Valentine’s Day collection you can look through. Or if you want to see all our funny gifts and weird candy, you can check out our entire catalog here.


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