A Cryptozoologist Interview: 9 Funny Bigfoot Gifts!
At Off the Wagon, we’ve always been fascinated by cryptids (animals that almost definitely exist but haven’t been proven to exist) like Bigfoot and Bob Ross. So, we decided to interview a Cryptozoologist (who is definitely, absolutely real) about some of his favorite products he needs while looking for these elusive creatures! Dr. B. G. Foot specializes in Sasquatch, Yeti, and Bigfoot research, and has traveled the globe searching for these furry, perhaps friendly, creatures. Read on to see what essential gear Dr. Foot takes on all his research trips, and why!
Bigfoot Air Freshener
“As a cryptozoologist, I often go on long camping trips searching for evidence. Over the course of these camping trips, I am often unable to bathe as often as I would like. Pretty soon, my car can get pretty smelly! That’s why I love the Bigfoot Air Freshener. It leaves my car smelling like fresh pine, and my spirits high.”
“It would be absolutely pointless for me to go Bigfoot hunting without my Bigfoot Caller. After years of research, I have absolute confidence that this caller is the most accurate one out there. By simply blowing on the whistle, I have the potential to attract and then observe a Bigfoot. With this tool, I have actually seen two Bigfoot in various locations… unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get a clear photograph either time.”
“As a leader in the field of Bigfoot research, I am often asked to attend conferences or give guest lectures. In situations like these, my Bigfoot mints often come in handy! I might be fascinated with Bigfoot, but I certainly don’t want my breath to smell like his. That’s why I use these mints to keep my breath smelling minty, not stinky.”
“Believe it or not, being a cryptozoologist can be a really stressful job. A lot of people don’t take me seriously, and even openly mock me! Additionally, going on research trips can be very dangerous and scary. Not to mention the fact that although I’ve spent so much time and energy trying to find Bigfoot, he escapes me somehow every time. This meditating Bigfoot reminds me to take a pause and breath. It gives me the peace of mind and the motivation to keep working!”
Grow a Bigfoot
“Sometimes, when you’re out on a research expedition, you need some amusement! Something to give you a break and get you laughing. Personally, I enjoy this ‘Grow a Bigfoot.’ I love to see this cute representation of Bigfoot emerge and grow from a tree. With my vast knowledge of Bigfoot, I know he doesn’t grow from a tree, so I find this “Grow a Bigfoot” hilarious - and a serious reminder of why my job’s so important!”
“It’s always important to stay safe on the trail! You can’t go wrong with these Bigfoot bandages. They cover and protect any minor cuts and scrapes I’ve had hiking while looking for Bigfoot. One time, I was bitten by a baby Bigfoot, and I used one of these to keep my arm safe from any further infection - it worked great!”
Bigfoot Love Boxer Briefs
“Bigfoot might not need to wear clothes, but we humans certainly do! These boxer briefs are breathable and comfortable, perfect for any activity I might have to perform on a research trip. Plus, they’re stylish and fun!”
Bigfoot Pocket Journals
“I absolutely adore this set of journals! Their small size and slim fit make them perfect to take on the trail for field research, and the lined pages make it convenient to write clear notes. If you’re a budding cryptozoologist yourself, I highly recommend these for your own use! They are great for all kinds of observations.”
Bigfoot Men’s Socks
“Bigfoot may be famous for his large feet, but that means he can’t wear awesome socks like these ones! Having high-quality socks is essential when I’m out searching for Bigfoot. These keep my feet warm, dry, and blister-free. I can’t get enough pairs!”
Off the Wagon is so grateful to Dr. B. G. Foot for telling us all about what he uses while searching for Bigfoot! We can’t believe we sell all of these products at our store… what a coincidence! We definitely didn’t make up this interview or anything…
If you’re looking for more fun, Bigfoot-related products like these, you can shop our entire Bigfoot and Sloth collection! Still looking for a funny, wacky gift? Shop our whole collection!
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