Valentine’s day is coming, and if you’ve got a special someone in your life, you’re probably thinking of ways to make it special. Maybe you’ve been trying to come up with a poetic and romantic speech to give your partner, but you’re struggling to find the right metaphors. If so, we have a suggestion for you that has worked 100% of the times we’ve used it (give or take): compare your Valentine to hot sauce. It’s the perfect metaphor: they’re both hot, they’re both saucy, they’re both…well that's really all we thought of but we’re sure there's more. Maybe you could say...their personality is spicy? Or they bring all sorts of interesting flavors into your life. Or maybe their fashion sense is...red? You know, because hot sauce is usually red. Ok, maybe not that last one, but you get the idea. Take the metaphor and run with it; we’re pretty sure you can do better than us. When you’ve got the perfect comparison, pick up one of these hot-sauce themed gifts to really seal the deal.
“You light up my life like hot sauce lights up my a**hole.” If you want to lay the romance on strong this Valentines Day, there is no better, more touching card than this one. This is especially true if your Valentine lives with you - that way all your noisy trips to the bathroom will really emphasize just how much you love them.
Cute and cuddly, just like you’re Valentine. And that’s on top of all the other mediocre hot-sauce metaphors we’ve already discussed! Think of all the possibilities!
Tabasco hot sauce in jelly bean form! A perfect pun-packed gift for Valentine’s Day since you’re supposed to give candy gifts for whatever reason. Adhere to arbitrary social norms and make hot sauce puns at the same time!
Not only are these socks hot-sauced themed, they’re pretty stylish too! These dress socks will really accentuate your Valentine’s saucy ankles. Get it, because it’s hot SAUCE. Heh.
Looking for a smooth one-liner that will knock their socks off? Pull a box of these out and try this one out: “You’re one Hot Tamale.” We’re like 27% sure this will woo anyone, but the chance is even higher if they actually like Hot Tamales. Actually the best case scenario is if your Valentine literally IS a Hot Tamale. Just don’t get them confused with the Hot Tamales in this box because it would be really unfortunate if you accidentally ate your Valentine.
If you or your Valentine are more of a mild child and would rather have Valentine’s Day gifts that AREN’T themed around hot sauce, we actually have lots of those too. Check out our entire Valentine’s Day collection here! And if you want regular(ish) gifts and gags, you can see our entire catalogue on our website.