Poop. Everyone does it but no one wants to talk about it. We get it, poop is kinda gross. We wouldn't want it sitting around in our house (thank God for modern plumbing), but when it’s just a conversation topic and not a reality, we think it's pretty funny. That might be an understatement, actually. We REALLY like poop jokes at Off the Wagon, and it’s gotten to the point where we kind of weird ourselves out. Luckily, we aren’t the only ones who think poop jokes are hilarious. If you giggle when you’re pinching a loaf, or chortle when a buddy tells a good number 2 story, then we’ve got some gags and gifts that are sure to give you a good laugh. If you don’t get literally all of the stuff on this list, it's probably not too weird. Probably.
We all have that person who is so high and mighty, saying their shit don’t stick (that's the saying right??) Well, now you can bring them down to our level by getting them some sticky poo! Chuck this puppy at a wall and watch it stick, just like a nice, healthy turd ought to. Ask some chimpanzees, they know all about sticky poo.
Sometimes you don’t feel it coming until it's too late. Other times you think it's simply a fart, but it most definitely is not a fart. When these dark and stinky hours come, you best be prepared. With these portable emergency underpants, you’ll always be ready for the worst.
Even more compact than normal emergency underpants, this instant will transform into underpants real quick, just add water! “Aren't these less ‘instant’ than the normal emergency underpants?” you might ask. Well, don’t worry about it. It's not our job to make sense, ok?
The perfect toilet side companion! Sometimes pooping can be a stressful occasion, depending on what was for dinner the night before. For example, if you go to Taco Bell, it's probably a good idea to keep this guy handy.
Flatulence falls just below feces on the funny spectrum, and it’s quite a bit less nasty too. With this fart machine you’ll have all the fart sound you’ll ever need.
For a more low-tech fart, thy the fart whistle! Try getting your friends to blow on it in public and make everyone believe it was a real fart!
Soap for Uranus. It's funny because Uranus sounds like your anus and butts are funny, just like poop.
We all know the terrors of public bathrooms, especially the toilets. Who knows what kind of disgustingness in on those things. With this survival kit, you might not have a pleasant time in the public bathroom, but at least you’ll make it through.
A great way to pass the time for a long, drawn-out pooping session. This potty putty makes awesome farting noises and is fun to play with!
Think this stuff is funny, but a little too gross? Well, do not fear! We have all sorts of funny and ridiculous gifts on our website that have nothing to do with your bottom or what comes out of it. Go check it out!