"Lord Phartwell's Comedy Novelty Items: For Those with a Discerning Sense of Humour: In these trying times it is important to maintain a healthy sense of humour. What better way to engender mirth than the discomfort of others? Laughing at another's misfortune makes one feel distinctly superior and keeps those of a lower station in their place. I can honestly conceive of no funnier situation than forcing an unfortunate stooge (and those around them) to believe they have suffered an alarming accident in their undergarments. Have fun".
